Monday. I still can’t forget about yesterday. I tried to shake it off but that weird dream made it even more difficult to forget.
Last night. In the dream, I feel really happy while falling with her. Then there’s that young Acacia tree and that tornado. I tried so hard to act ignorant of it’s meaning but it seems obvious. If ever I fall with her in real life, we’ll be happy, but then there’s that tornado! Something will pull her away from me! And would definitely hurt the both of us! Would it be that audition thing? Then I realized that in real life, I refuse to fall for her and I want her to stay as my best friend. That way, even the tornado comes, it wouldn’t matter. We’d still be happy. As best friends. I think. But that exchange of the “L” thing yesterday kinda ruined my resolve.
To compensate for yesterday, I decided to just forget about the dream and the incident and focus only on being a good best friend not just to Chrixa but also with the Gang. And to brush off the assumption that whatever happened yesterday affected Chrixa negatively, I got desperate to see her and prove that she’s okay.
I just want to see those smiles.
The assumption had to stay in me for a long time though because she’s absent.
Lunchtime. I decided not to eat my lunch because I’m feeling so anxious. I wanted to eat but it seems my stomach doesn’t want to be filled.
I’m almost on the verge of being really sure not to eat when I receive a text message from Chrixa.
Hey s2pid! :p Eat ur lunch ok!
If u don’t want da pranks 2 go
back, u better eat! I’ve got my eyes
there so don’t try 2 act urself out.
EAT UP!! >:0
P.S. Having da 2nd screening of the audition 2day.
Need your prayers!! >.<
I smile. And replies:
(-_-) Alright… I’ll eat…sheesh…
P.S. We’ll pray for you, Chrish! Knock ’em dead!
God Bless you!:D
I decided to buy lunch after that. Lance also reminded me to eat. I guessed they are the eyes.
Her message gave me relief too. Thank God, she’s okay. Probably I’m just over reacting. I sigh and just pray that she get through the audition. After praying, my confidence of her getting the lead role shot up. God blessed her with such good acting skills so worrying about her is out of the question.
The day at school without Chrixa is not bad too. I told the Gang about our hang out yesterday but leaving the awkward part untold. Daniel, being the mature one as usual, still thinks that I have to tell her that I know about her feelings for me as soon as I can because if I wait any longer I would really regret it. I assured him that I will do it as soon as I see her again.
The next day came with me catching up to Chrixa in the hallway.
Mort: Good morning Chrish!
I greeted her cheerfully as I approach.
She looks upset.
Mort: Is everything alright?
Mort: Right…Your face tells me that you’re not okay. What’s wrong Chrish?
I barely heard that.
Mort: C’mon Chrish, just tell me! What are bes –
Chrixa: I TOLD YOU I’M FINE!
She walks away.
I wanna catch up to her but I can’t seem to move faster. This is the second time she shouted at me like that. It feels like I can’t do anything about it. What did I do now that made her act like that? It’s probably because of her audition yesterday. Did she fail it?
Lunchtime. I brought my lunch today and I decided to show it to Chrixa thinking that it would cheer her up.
Mort: Hey Chrish! Look what I got!
I shake my lunchbox in front of her,
Mort: It’s my lunch! This time I brought one for myself. Tell me you’re not proud.
She remains silent. My heart sinks when I see her clutching the usual lime green lunch box on her lap.
Now I totally regret bringing my own lunch.
I then urge myself hard to think that it was for herself this time until my heart couldn’t sink even more low when I see a pink lunchbox under her seat. Without warning, she slams the lime green one on the pink one and continues whatever it is her writing lately on the arm of her chair. It was some kind of form.
Mort: How did the audition go?
But the realization that asking about the audition was a bad idea dawns on me so late that before I could apologize, she stands up and walks out of the room.
I’m sure she was crying.
And for the second time in one day, she left me frozen on the spot. This time the confusion of her actions did not just hit me but the rest of the Gang, as well, since they observed the whole thing.
The Gang asked me what happened. What can I tell them? Even I don’t know why she’s acting like that. Now it felt like our hangout last weekend happened many years ago. Whatever caused her actions, I pushed myself to think that it’s not because of what Daniel was talking about but it was because of her audition yesterday. It was indeed her dream to become an actress her whole life so feeling very upset about not going in is the most likely reason for her outrageous actions.
I gave my lunch to Lance. I lost my appetite. I also went over and check if the pink lunch box has food in it. It has. Just a sandwich with tomato, lettuce and mayo between it. I checked the lime green one and felt my appetite go back as I see what’s inside; A dried marinated beef sitting on top of a rice, coated with margarine. A bit messy after her slamming it. My appetite back down again as I realize I have to talk to her. I must make everything clear. I can’t let my best friend feel that way. Whatever it is that’s making her act like that, I have to cheer her up. Although I don’t know how. But still I’ll try.